After a Miscarriage

Miscarriage and infant loss are known to be two of the main reasons of depression, especially for women. And since October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month, and today October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, we would love tell every woman out there who is going or has been through miscarriage, or recently lost her infant, we feel you. We really do. You’re not alone in this. And we hope that listening to our Rahet Bally Moms experiences with pregnancy and infant .loss would ease this tough experience on you

We asked Rahet Bally mothers to share a positive thing they realized after they passed through their miscarriage and/or infant loss experience, and to send a positive message for every woman out there who has been/is going through the same experience.

Y.G. 37 years

“I had a miscarriage before my first son came to life, and almost 4 years ago I gave birth to an underweight girl who passed away 4 days after her birth. It is hard beyond imagination and tough to lose your baby after going through all the pregnancy phases and finally giving birth. And it was excruciatingly difficult to explain to my little boys that the baby girl they dream of playing with is gone after 9 months of waiting. However, reflecting about it, I know that if she lived, she would have had developmental issues that would include blindness. And that might be too much for me to handle, so thank God for everything. By the way, in that year God gave me a lot of blessings that I’m so grateful for today”

My message to all women going through the same is: 

“Express yourself and seek help. Not everyone would understand what you’re going through, but you can find people who’d definitely do. I found a lot of support when I joined online forums for people who’ve been through the same, that’s when I realized that I’m not alone in this.”

 

E.S. 28 years

“It was my first pregnancy and I lost my unborn baby exactly after 3 months. I was grieving and I felt that nobody gets how sad I was; people were like “it’s just 12 weeks!”

After I recovered I was thinking, thank God; the baby was underdeveloped and was going to have so many problems after birth. I have a beautiful baby boy now.”

My message to all women going through the same is:

“Don’t wait for people to validate your feelings. This experience is tough on both parents, especially the mother, and tougher on a first time mother. Take all the time you want to grieve. And if you can’t find support, ask for it.”

 

D.I. 35 years

“I lost my middle baby. He was fine, with strong heartbeats, kicking and moving the whole time but in the 4th month my gynecologist discovered that the baby had a water sac in his head instead of the brain; his brain wasn’t developed and I had to choose whether to kill my baby (terminate the pregnancy) or wait for him to die alone (either during pregnancy or immediately after birth) as hard as it was I chose to terminate. I took the pills and gave birth in the bathroom. He was a complete tiny baby but with no eyes, mouth or nose, but fully complete. I saw him lying on the floor but I couldn’t touch him. I had to wait for the nanny to come wash him and roll him with bandage, and bury him the garden.
It was almost 2 years ago, I have my elder son and now my 9 months old daughter but I am not over it yet. RIP my angel. I also named him.

 

Y.A. 30 years

“I was counting the days to see my baby. I though everything was perfectly fine when suddenly lost it. It was a huge shock. I didn’t know until later in my pregnancy that my fetus was underdeveloped due to the an imbalance of my pregnancy hormone percentage that was reflected on the very first test I made, and my gynecologist didn’t even tell me that something went wrong!

Later God blessed me with the most beautiful girl in the world. I’m sure my first was to turn out exactly as beautiful.”

My message to all women going through the same is:

“The hardest thing in the world is to lose a child. But this isn’t the end of the world. God is watching over you and he knows how much pain you’re in, and he will bless you with things you won’t even imagine. And most importantly, no matter how early in your pregnancy you were when you lost it, be sure that you’ll meet your unborn child in heaven. Be strong. I’m sending you all the love and support.”

 

I.M. 31 years

“The impact of miscarriage differs greatly if it was your first pregnancy. Luckily I already had a child. I was thanking God everyday, because it could have way gone worse”.

My message to all women going through the same is:

“I know that miscarriage is a difficult experience, especially if it’s your first pregnancy. I know you could be having negative thoughts and doubts about the possibility of a future pregnancy. But always have faith.”

 I believe our RB moms said it all. But my final word is live all of it. Grieve. Fall. Then stand back up and fall again, until you make peace with it. People will make you feel that you are exaggerating with your grief, don’t listen to them or wait for them to validate your feelings, but as well forgive them, because they simply don’t know how it feels. They consider it logically and they think that nothing happened; you haven’t seen the baby, you haven’t bonded with them just yet. For them it’s as simple as that, because they don’t know that this huge love to our children starts way before we see them or even feel their tiny gentle kicks in our bellies. No body will ever feel you the way someone who has been through it before. Which is why we are thankful for every woman who contributed with us in this article, because no matter how I explained, I won’t do them justice in the way they are so keep to support every single woman who is going through the same. They are sending you love and support. They feel you. We feel you.

Mother’s Day – Wishes Do Come True

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